Millennial Mondays: "Tailored" Resumes Decoded
Fit every detail of your professional, personal, and academic life on one page within these margins and readable font size. Seems difficult right? The page is pretty full, might have to run into page 2...
Now take out every embellishment, title inflation, extension of job length, and also blatant fabrications. More room?
This is not a tirade, every candidate embellishes. Especially the typical millennial who has been building resumes since high school when we were joining every club our school offered just so we could get into the college of our dreams. I could go very in-depth into how this creates an inefficiency in the economy, because people are applying to jobs with exaggerated job descriptions with exaggerated resumes leading to hires based on falsehoods on both ends.
But... we'll just look at some funny (yet mostly accurate) translations instead:
- Objective: To gain a (insert open position) position at (insert company name)
- Proficient in ______ : Heard of it
- Expert in ______ : Proficient in
- 3.0 Major GPA: Freshman cores...
- Case Studies and Team Projects: Homework for class
- Externship: Watched my uncle work for a day on Christmas break
- Summer Analyst: Intern
- Social Media Intern: Tweeted
- Private Wealth Management Intern: Got my friend's parents to sign up for a 401k.
- Financial Analyst Intern: I know Excel.
- Teaching Assistant: Power-tripping with my own peers.
- Semester Abroad: World citizen, fluent language ability, took lots of pics of food.
- Partner of Uber: Driver of Uber
All in good fun, but if you were a waitress, lifeguard, ice cream truck driver, even if you think you need to embellish- don't! The most relevant experiences will align with the right career. #howihire